IMAGE? Kids Want to Know: Terminator Salvation

A Terminator doing a Step Class

A bit late I know, but I went to see the 4th Terminator movie a while back and it just raised more questions than answers. Inspired by the literary talent of my friend Gemma – to which I can only hope to aspire to – I decided to put them down in writing per the below …

So:

  • Given that Skynet captures Kyle early, and Kyle is the father of John who the evil machines want to kill, why don’t they just kill him immediately rather than keeping him in a room for a few hours to wait for John Connor so they can kill him as well? It was like a Bond film where they rig up an over-elaborate laser to cut him up slowly over 39 minutes, or when the 300 Ninjas/Indians/Hoodlums/Pack of Lions/Extraterrestrials wait patiently for their turn to fight Chuck Norris one-by-one (and consequently get their a*se soundly kicked, one-by-one – see Chuck Norris Facts for more Chuck-related knowledge)
  • Did the evil machines not have copies of the “Back to the Future” movie trilogy somewhere in their giant super computer brain thing?
  • Why do the terminators have teeth? It’s not like they need them for aesthetic purposes so as not to scare the humans or whatever, so what’s the point?
  • Given the terminators are aware that humans die if their hearts stop, how come when fighting, their methods are generally limited to throwing humans about, or slapping them in the face? Why not rip out their heart in the manner of the Indiana Jones movies? It’s not like they are doing it for the laughs.
  • If the evil machines are so smart, how come they built terminators with a vulnerable stabbing point at the back of the neck?
  • If the terminators are building the ultimate fighting machine, how come one of their models was a 50-something actor now masquerading as the Governor of California? Why not Rocky Balboa?
  • Likewise, at the end (and stop reading if you were expecting a labryinthian and unexpected ending where the hero dies), the humans have a seemingly indestructible human/machine hybrid on their side and yet decide to take his heart and give it to a weak, puny human who needs a heart transplant. Why not go the other way and transplant the human’s head onto the machine?
  • Lastly, despite the huge city and manufacturing plant building terminators the evil machines had built, there didn’t seem to be many terminators on duty to stop the humans when they attacked. What were they doing?

On that last point, I figured I’d use my (admittedly weak) Photoshop skills to imagine the life of an average terminator when not on the job destroying the human race. Hence the images above and below … if you have any answers to my questions, send them to my normal address.

A Terminator doing Spin Class

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